Designated Doodler

The Reese's in the vending machine at work are always melted. Their chocolate bottoms stick to the coffee colored paper wrapper, and peel off completely, revealing squishy, sandy brown, peanut butter flesh. Instead of a neat circle, the chocolate folds up on two sides, Like the face of a child getting squished by an overbearing aunt. It tastes gritty. Like there isn't enough chocolate and the peanut butter conceals grains of sand. 75 cents and 250 calories later, here I am. Holding the atrociously bright orange wrapper, flapped open, in my hand. I take the two hollow skeleton cups and shove them inside. The wrapper doesn't quite "crackle" but it "crinkles" like the laugh plastic would make if it were able to laugh. I careen off my armless desk chair and toss it into the space between my hand and the abyss of the trash can. Naturally it misses and lands on the floor. That's what you get when the pilots of a vessel are two hollow skeleton cu...

As I sit here sipping my Pike's blend and eating baby Kit-Kat's I'm wondering where I went wrong in life. No, just kidding. But seriously, who buys baby candy? If you go to get a Kit-Kat wouldn't  you rather it be full sized? And why do they call that tiny candy "Fun Sized" as if getting less chocolate is somehow a deal. But I digress. You know, it's amazing how much faster time goes by when you have something solid to do. That's exactly why I wrote blogs and drew cartoons in many of my college classes. A word to the wise though, make sure said prof's aren't following you on Twitter where you mention your blog update. College truly ruins everything. High school is a hellish nightmare that entraps you for eight hours a day and then you go to college and you're all like..."oh, I can go home and nap now!" "I have freedom, and an active social life and spare time and a newfound appreciation for Ultimate Frisbee." And s...