Designated Doodler

Introducing....Power.... from the world renowned Forever Whinery. It's time to get drunk with Power. No matter what your social stance, this $7,000 bottle of wine is perfect for you! The grapes have been carefully hand selected and foot stomped by disgruntled employees. As soon as you purchase POWER you've already, instantly, become loathed. Take a good look at the blood red color of the wine. You will notice shimmering gold flecks throughout the wine, made from the finest imported 24k gold shavings.  Swirl POWER around in your crystal cut glass and take a deep breath. Rich aromas of oak, hazelnut, musk, tobacco, dirty money, and minion's tears will make its way up your nostrils. Savor the wine. Swish it around in your mouth. Let the feeling of entitlement flood your refined taste buds. Feel the weight and body of the wine on your palette; notice its entitled grapes loosening your blabbering tongue. Finally, evaluate the finish of the wine. It should wash over...

Introducing Depression, a new fragrance from Dash-O-Pity. Depression is a warm, rich fragrance with undertones of musk, soil, lint, oak moss and narcissus. The mixture is also infused with rare droplets of actual tears. With a few light mists of Depression, you will feel yourself being wrapped in the tight and uncomfortable embrace of a dark sadness. This long-lasting scent will stay with you for days upon days and is resistant to removal. Others will immediately recognize that you are wearing Depression and are likely to comment on the intrusive smell of melancholy that is sure to take them over as well. It is recommended that you apply Depression liberally and use with reckless abandon. +Not intended for use in eyeballs, on small animals or large children.