Junioritis

I should be freaking out, but am I? Nope.

I don’t know what it is about this year but my attitude in general has gone from wound ten notches too tight to not really being bothered about the things that most people would have a coronary over. But instead of looking at the various things I have to be freaked out about…I decided to go get frozen yogurt.

I think spring break messed me up even more. I have no fire left really. My thoughts are drunk off the notion of summer and in the distance I can catch a glimpse of graduation. “Just one more year,” is the only phrase that keeps scrolling across my mind like a broken stock ticker.

So instead of freaking out about what I have to do, or what’s going on I’m chilling here at my laptop, listening to some old school rap and writing this. I’m not much of one to procrastinate, so I would say that this is very out of character for me. But if you saw my options you’d understand. My options are these…finish my rather large paper that’s due tomorrow, break bad news to people that are practically like family, or contemplate what I’ll make for dinner. I’m liking the dinner option right about now. But I will say that I’m out of wine, this upsets me, and yes, it will influence what I make for dinner.

So as you can see, I’m stuck in a bit of a pickle. Which is awful, because I hate pickles. I do not like them at all, they are rather disgusting. Which is why I was so grossed out when I saw them being sold at HEB in Popsicle form. I’m disappointed in you HEB, very disappointed. But they do run Central Market, so I guess I can forgive them.

Back to my topic though…I see no need for this paper. I see no benefit to my immediate situation through it. I see no knowledge that can be gained from it. All I see is a deadline strung upon a person that is already frayed.

Six weeks is a very long time. Right about now, it feels like forever. A forever that is holding me back from important things, from being in places that I am very much needed, and away from people that I should be spending every minute with. I know that is not a very good way of looking at things. I should look at these next weeks as the completion of my junior year, an important year. I should let loose and soak up every minute of the end of my third year here, but all I can do is wish it were the end of the fourth.