How To Stay Awake During Class

1. Don't daydream about napping
2. Think about coffee, imagine it's wafting fragrance floating into your nostrils
3. Memorize every single object in the room
4. Write in your blog while your prof goes on his #4532 tangent
5. Pay attention (HAHAHA JK)
5. Doodle in your notebook
6. Think of ideas for novel
7. Go through schedule in mind (but don't cry aloud in class)
8. Daydream about hot man-candy
9. Mentally go over plans for world domination
10. Cling on to the idea that you SHALL eventually go to sleep
11. Cling on to the hope of graduation in May
12. Reconstruct episode of Spongebob in your mind and replay it
13. Take notes on how to use this lecture as a torture instrument if you do infact ever end up working for the FBI or CIA
14. Imagine everyone in the room in their underwear
14.1 Mentally scream and desperately try to forget what you just imagined
15. Plan future wedding

Don't forget while your doing one (or all) of these things to maintain a facade of interest. Look up every couple of minutes, feign fascination and pay attention to ambient noises (so you can type furiously when everyone else does). Remember that this situation is merely temporary and despite an hour long tangent by your prof, you shall survive (hopefully). If boredom were deadly, the human race would have burnt out long ago, but alas here we are.

Please know that you are not alone, every single day millions of college students must suffer through lengthy tangents and nonsensical information that in no way furthers their knowledge base. If prof's just gave you the straight facts, college would only last 2 years, not 4 and then how would collegiate institutions survive? Consider this investment of time and sanity as a charitable donation to the money-sucking instutions that dole out diplomas. We must maintain our educational infrastructure if we are to have any hope when China takes over.

Hang in there and remember, you should never do all 15 "How to Stay Awake's" at the same time, possible side effects of the misuse of the fifteen include instant cranial combustion. Handle with care.

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