Jim's Youth

Your skin is a series of scars
A storybook of abuse, written in fractures and breaks
Everyday you wake up and wonder what it would take
To gather your soul and move from this place

It's a long walk
And you can't breathe
With the dust caked in your lungs
And dried tears crusted in your eyes
Floundering beneath the weight of fermented lies
And the bag of broken hopes strapped to your spine
Somewhere along the line
You forgot what it was to be fine

It's easy to step into the abyss
Beneath the burning Iowa sun
What makes it simple is that
You're no one's son

It gets old
Visiting your father's grave on your birthday
Coming up with good enough lies to say
To an angry drunk stepfather
Or a way to beg along a dirt road
For a brother who's running away
But the day that Danny was killed
Was the moment you knew you couldn't stay

With every single step
Comes a flash of an indelible, unbearable past...
Daddy's cherry red car slipping off a cliff
Your face to the dirt, body stiff
A hand pressing down into your skull
Being handed a numbered orange shirt
Sobbing as you beg for George to stay, as you plead
The sting of Frank's slap vibrating on your cheek as you cry
The weight of Daniel's dying body in your arms
The look of terror in his eyes, the sound of blood gurgling in his throat
As he said "I love you," and "goodbye"
Or your stepfathers hand squeezing around your neck yesterday
as you hoped and prayed for the spotted fuzz to turn to black

It was time to leave and never look back

Walking on for a week
Danny and Dad pushing you forward
Just seven days from 18,
A feature of the wilderness
Until the dim light could be seen
Of the sort of city, far in the night
Fall to your knees,
Lower your weathered face
And thank God for this federation base

Your skin is a series of scars
A storybook of abuse, written in fractures and breaks
Tomorrow you will wake up and wonder what it would take
To gather your soul and climb into space











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