Designated Doodler

The surroundings were unfamiliar but somehow echoed your personality. The furniture was mission style, the living room kept neat, piles of books and magazines littered the occasional coffee table. It was dark out, getting later. Of course being myself...I fell asleep. You left me alone, that irreparable rift between us manifesting in extra space. I didn't want it, but you did. So you escaped, went somewhere, to the gym or to get food or something. And here I was, in your house, closer to you than ever, and yet never further away. I do one of two things when left alone in a strange place - draw or nap, and I chose both. First I drew, and then I yawned, and then yawned some more until I found myself putting on my Bose headphones. I think I finally drifted off to "Silhouette" by Active Child. During the course of my nap I twisted and turned on the couch, my sketchbook careening to the floor. My headphones slipped off a little but I didn't notice. I don't know i...

There is a good chance that you need to hear at least one of these things at this moment or throughout the new year: 1. Stop looking at your anger or anxiety as a wall you keep running into. Instead, look closely at the bricks that make up the wall. Attack the wall one brick at a time and watch the wall disappear. 2. Fear is an illusion. When anxiety strikes, you have to lean into it to get out of it. 3. You are where you need to be. Even if you feel stuck, even if you hate it, even if you don't understand it - stop trying to escape, and start asking yourself what you can learn from this. 4. People who don't have a clear sense of their own identity latch on to others. They turn their insecurity into gossip, their anxiety into manipulation, their inferiority complex into sabotage. Remember that you are a separate organism and that you can choose to either let their toxins in, or keep them out. Don't take on others' baggage before unpacking your own. If you ca...

Art is the only area of my life that I can afford to be fearless. In general, what prevents people from creating art is the fear that they're not good enough. They're worried about the "judges" and criticism. But my attitude is f*%& it, if you don't like my art I don't give a shit. I don't care because I'm not seeing the judges when I look into paint, I see a quiet unformed world that doesn't exist yet, that won't exist unless I make it exist. It is a 40x60 inch white curtain that I pull back with fingers, brushes, wires and palette knives. Does anyone care that I create art? Probably not. Does it garner me accolades or attention? Probably not. (another reason why people don't make art) And it sure as hell has no monetary pay off. Yet I always find myself standing in front of an easel again and again. Dozens of sketchbooks piling in corners of long lost territory. A creep of disappointment and pride when I look back through pages an...