The Measure of Art's Success

I don't care because I'm not seeing the judges when I look into paint, I see a quiet unformed world that doesn't exist yet, that won't exist unless I make it exist. It is a 40x60 inch white curtain that I pull back with fingers, brushes, wires and palette knives.
Does anyone care that I create art? Probably not. Does it garner me accolades or attention? Probably not. (another reason why people don't make art) And it sure as hell has no monetary pay off. Yet I always find myself standing in front of an easel again and again. Dozens of sketchbooks piling in corners of long lost territory. A creep of disappointment and pride when I look back through pages and paintings past - flipping through and seeing progress.
In high school they tell you what's wrong with it. In college they hang it up on the walls with your peers and judge it against theirs. In 3D design in college my professor consistently failed me because I couldn't "achieve" his abstract idea of perfection. I was too exact, too realistic. I put 26, 41, 52 hours into projects that resulted in C's and D's and F's. In school they show you what art "should" be. But I don't give a fuck what it should be. I know what it is for me and that's good enough.
A lot of people measure artistic success by whether or not you've "made it" into a museum or gallery. But maybe, just maybe, that doesn't mean you've succeeded, maybe that means in some way you've failed.
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