Designated Doodler

It is a scientifically proven fact that time slows during the afternoon work hours. The greatest anomaly occurring on Friday afternoons when subjects are inside at work. “There’s just something about Friday’s,” said Doctor Fulloshit. “It’s as if time slows to a crawl, yet the clocks on the wall are keeping normal time. We, at the Institute of Weary Adulthood, have been studying this phenomenon for centuries. And although it hasn’t changed much, the effects are felt much more with the younger generations.” Reputable news source Youngginz interviewed young adults and found that over 99% have at some time experienced, what they have labeled, epically-slow-bored-afternoon, or ESBA for short. And the intensified version of ESBA that occurs on Fridays is called Unbearably-Slow-Friday-Afternoon-Time-Warp, or USFATW. "There's just no getting around it," said Fred Jackson a 20-something graphic designer. "It happens every Friday and to lesser d...

I am a hoarder of seconds On the border of boredom Learning life's long lessons Or maybe just ignoring them The carpet is reminiscent of oatmeal The walls are a green, yellow, beige, In the distance keystrokes clack, As someone talks, sniffles, turns a page The TV on the wall is so loud I can't focus on this poem It goes on and on about diabetes, In a loop, like a drone. Take me home. Let's go home. In the air hangs a yawning despair, Not even it wants to be here. It would rather be out there Past the portrait windows In the open air The longer I wait, The more I sedate Until I'm a fixture of the room Like the composite desk in the corner, The green plastic-armed chairs, Or the fake pink flowers, forever abloom.

Icarus with wings on fire Do you not smell the feathers burning As they take you higher? Only at the height of the blistering skies The blurred mind begins to realize What parable you are Or are you a myth? Thoughts can't breathe here The air grows thin And with a peeling arm held out Embers touch skin Are you falling or flying Will you reach the unreachable Or die trying? Higher, brighter, hotter, lighter Flesh is screaming The height tears at The oxygen in your lungs Vision is blistered and reeling Let the sun Draw you in and Proceed to devour The flesh, bones and blood That only ever sought power Descent is simple All stand and stare With hands dusting The glowing light from their eyes as they watch your rag doll body falling out of the skies Wings are gone charred feathers ascend around the flaming human asteroid floating towards the solid ground.

SafetySuit's song "Let Go," and Jordin Sparks' song "Freeze" get me every time. You know what I realized today? I realized that I listen to music non-stop for eight hours a day, five days a week. It's how I get through the day. But damn, that is a lot of music. I also possess the uncanny ability to know exactly what songs my friends would like, and if they specifically tell me they like a song, somehow I can remember that five years later to make a CD for them. Sometimes I just don't understand my memory. I can forget something that is relatively important but be able to play a conversation back in my mind nearly word for word even if it was from a year ago. And I can remember an episode of Monk from season 1 in 2002. I remember the shoes I wore when I was five and played little league, I remember the story that a sub told us in 10th grade biology about his former life in Poland, I remember the toy I got in a McDonald's happy meal when i wa...

As I sit here sipping my Pike's blend and eating baby Kit-Kat's I'm wondering where I went wrong in life. No, just kidding. But seriously, who buys baby candy? If you go to get a Kit-Kat wouldn't  you rather it be full sized? And why do they call that tiny candy "Fun Sized" as if getting less chocolate is somehow a deal. But I digress. You know, it's amazing how much faster time goes by when you have something solid to do. That's exactly why I wrote blogs and drew cartoons in many of my college classes. A word to the wise though, make sure said prof's aren't following you on Twitter where you mention your blog update. College truly ruins everything. High school is a hellish nightmare that entraps you for eight hours a day and then you go to college and you're all like..."oh, I can go home and nap now!" "I have freedom, and an active social life and spare time and a newfound appreciation for Ultimate Frisbee." And s...