Star Crossed Lovers

There's a hitch in my breathing, just knowing that you're standing like a pillar at the end of the corridor. My mind reconstructs your face, my heart skips, and makes it harder to traverse the distance between us. As one foot steps in front of the other, I feel a spike of adrenaline pulse into my stomach and consider each location in my body that emotion is housed. 

Anxiety lives in my legs, making them feel like cold jello, useless beneath me. Joy dwells in my mouth and delights in every scoop of Ben & Jerry's. Anticipation builds in my stomach,just below where my ribcage joins together. Stress accumulates at the base of my skull and delivers painful pulses down the highway of my spine to my knotted back. Sadness balls itself up in my throat and burns in my red eyes. Whereas happiness spreads like fire in the smile on my face and impatience is encapsulated in perpetually tapping toes. Creativity starts in my brain but is housed in my hands that live to create. And love...love is somewhere deep in the center of my chest. And when I try to explore that particular emotion, my mind can only probe the deep roots that travel to somewhere uncharted.

That is where my emotions live. I could draw a map or catch an artery to visit the various stations, but I don't have to. Because I feel a symphony of so many of those emotions in the ten minute walk it takes to reach you. The sterile white walls stretch like fingers through the ship and seem to continue on for an eternity. 

I reach you but you're lost in space and I'm lost in you. Both of us have lost sight of reality but only I have lost a grasp on gravity. Your words pull me up and down, your gazes bring light and dark, and I am forever recovering from whiplash. 

Days pass, weeks fly, and you remain my only navigation in an otherwise black sky. The only problem with you being my sun and I in your orbit, is that I never truly reach you. I can bend and reach and stretch, even try to reinvent, but it's never meant to be. And as time drags the realization nearer, I grow increasingly lost. Affection comes at quite a cost and crushes are called crushes for a reason. I am crushed. I still have to see you everyday and your forrest eyes are a reminder of the planet I left behind and the ache of envy that has pulled me under. 

I'm not sure where envy lives. Maybe somewhere in my face, the tint of rose beneath my cheeks, the hot pulse under my skin. And when it's gone it's replaced with sadness, a thousand unspoken words wrapped in hollow madness.