Designated Doodler

Introducing the best invention since the panini press: EX-SCRUB!!! Not just any ordinary toilet bowl brush, the EX-SCRUB takes personalization to a whole new level by allowing you (the consumer) to send us a photo of your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend whose image will then be printed upon the toilet brush. Do you have unrequited anger issues; a desire to cling to your disdain of a particular person and a healthy obsession with hygiene? Then the EX-SCRUB is perfect for you!!! This technological breakthrough is the best way to subdue your aggression while keeping a spotless toilet bowl. Do you feel like your ex is a piece of crap? Perfect! Then put them where they belong; in your toilet! With every glance at your scrubber don't be surprised if you begin to grin and chuckle. The EX-SCRUB makes cleaning time fun and worth looking forward to! And if you're feeling particularly vindictive, let your bowl get extra dirty before cleaning it. The gel that comes with EX-SCRUB comes in two scent...

Who knew that a suggestion I made while I was at work would turn into a dream vacation? I was just fooling around on the internet and found some Steelers seats for the December 24th game against the Rams at Heinz Field. I mentioned it to my parents in a half joking manner and wrote it off as a wishful desire that probably wouldn't happen. But it did! The next day my Dad booked the tickets and called me up to tell me we were going. I don't think I could have been any more excited!! If there's one thing I know it's that life is short and every opportunity you get to do something amazing; you should take it. So on Christmas Eve I found myself looking out the window of our rental car and seeing the giant steel arms of Heinz Stadium reaching towards the sky. As soon as I sat down in seat 3 of 114 V and looked around I knew I was surrounded by "my people." The fans were friendly, the sun peeked around the passing clouds and the nipping cold made the excitement of th...

This ridiculous semester is almost over and I'm almost peeing myself with excitement at the prospect of leaving. But alas, here I sit in my empty apartment avoiding the unformed boxes that are staring at me from across the room. If you've ever moved (which you probably have) you know that moving is a bitch. I've lived in 3 different states, 5 different cities, and have "moved into" a room about eight times. Being an artist you can imagine that I have a lot of shit to move. I am also an avid reader and lover of books so that means that I have even more shit to move. OH and I love xbox and games and movies and full season collections of my favorite shows....you get the idea, a lot of stuff. And the campus is errily quiet and I get to spend all day reading on Facebook about how all my friends have already left and are comfortably situated at home. It really hit me how empty campus was when I could actually find a parking spot today on campus, and in a prime location....

I undid the chain That held me together But pulled me down I severed the ties And in darkness did rise Not looking down Not looking back At the weight sinking to the ground What a feeling it is to lack The one thing that held me down “You’re no hero,” I think As I swim towards the light And you begin to sink Into the darkness Into the depths Of intense obscurity No longer a harness Tripping my steps I want to erase you From every part of me I want to un-know your name And forget every word Forget every game Cut my losses and let you go If there is one thing that I know It is that I am strong enough To practice the art of letting go With each second you fade further I ascend higher Leaving you to rest in the mud and mire In the forgotten depths where you belong Like a sunken treasure without a song Cold and silent in the dark A victim of anger, ego and spite I leave you to rest in the cold dark night In the muscled arms of the freezing ocean A si...

Twas the night before my birthday, when all through the dorm Not a creature was stirring and all was quiet and warm The papers were written with wreckless half-care And books were stacked upon my desk chair There I lay all snug in my bed With visions of Christmas break dancing in my head Soft socks on my feet, warm blanket wrapped tight Was settling my brain for a nice peaceful night When out of my window I heard drunken laughter I rolled my eyes at the ceaceless collegiate clatter I didn't bother springing up to the window in a flash Just assumed it a gaggle of students all giggling and trashed The moon shone bright over the drought stricken grass And peered in my blinds like a peeping tom so brash When out of the darkness did appear A minature birthday fairy and eight tiny reindeer The little weird fairy had borrowed santa's sleigh And with a wee little laugh had steered over this way He took pity in that my birthday was overshadowed by the holidays And...