If You Know an Anxious Soul

I felt inspired to write this post today to help anyone out there who knows/is friends with/is a parent of someone with anxiety. I realized today that these things I know aren't just common sense. They've come from years of dealing with anxiety myself and knowing others who have as well. So here it goes.

Things to keep in mind about anxiety:

Anxiety isn't as easy to control as you might think
I've had people ask me in the past "well, why don't you just stop being anxious." To me, that's like asking someone who has chronic migraines to stop having migraines. What's important is to realize that anxiety is very much a physical thing. It is a response that your body has, when once started, is difficult to control or stop.

An anxious person may have a racing heartbeat, sweaty hands, dry mouth, or even shake. Once the body begins this descent into anxiety it's hard to turn around. And even if the anxiety isn't yet to that point or severity...it's like a second nature. For some, the body and mind go down this road without the person even making a conscious choice to be worried.

Many times, the anxious person will even dread worrying about worry. This may sound silly to you, but that person has experienced something highly uncomfortable and frightening and never wants to be in that position again. It's like a car crash victim getting in a car to drive to work every day. You have a vivid recollection of the negative response, of the overwhelming fear, and therefore you never want to have it again.

Understanding Anxiety's Causes and Finding Solutions 
Some parents that don't understand anxiety may think that their child is going through a phase, misbehaving or vying for attention. My anxiety started when I was around 9 or 10 and was closely linked to my having asthma.

As a child it is very frustrating to feel like you're not being taken seriously. If your child is struggling, fearful, upset or fears doing things that didn't used to be a problem - take them seriously. Have them begin to work through this by taking them to see a psychologist or school counselor.

There are many things that can trigger anxiety. It was a few different things for me as I aged and moved through life. The person you know may be struggling with change, adjusting, fitting in, relationships, money, health, or changing seasons in life.

Anxiety can be controlled through bio-feedback, therapy, medication and good support systems. Just because a person struggles with anxiety does not mean that they are weak or in any way damaged or less of a person.

It Might not be Immediately Apparent - Don't Let them Do It Alone 

Apparently I hid my anxiety relatively well. I would have friends tell me how brave they thought I was, how solid I seemed. But the operative word there is "seemed."

Get this person in your life to open up to you. Reassure them that you are there for them always. One of the worst things you can do to an anxious person is judge them or leave them to struggle with anxiety alone.

Since this condition doesn't necessarily have physical signs, many times people think there's nothing wrong; that's not the case. What's happening inside of your friend/child/family member is very real to them. It may even be a daily struggle for them. One thing you should try your best to understand is the gravity of what they're going through.

Not a single person who is anxious WANTS to be anxious. They want to be "normal," they want to be fearless. They do not want this to hinder their plans or change how they live their life - yet it can. You need to remember that this is not something they are choosing.

Anxious People Might Just be the Bravest People on Earth
Every single day millions of people are pushing through anxiety. They use the tools they've been given, the support systems they have and they do their best to live life to the fullest. It takes a very strong person to look anxiety in the face and push on in spite of it. They may not realize their own strength, but they are using it to get through each and every day. Their mind, their body, their circumstances may be screaming at them to be anxious, and yet they push through.

More Than a Phase - a Disposition
Many people are predisposed to be anxious. Brain chemistry can literally cause a person to be anxious. This is why, many times, medication is effective. So know that this is a very real thing.

Back in the day, like WAY BACK, anxious people were the survivors. They were the perceptive ones, the cautious ones that lived, survived and thrived because they were not reckless. This trait can be used to one's advantage - even in today's "brave" world.

Don't Discriminate and Don't Hate

Believe it or not, I've had both of things happen to me. I've even had someone who I thought was a friend tell me that I was "crazy" and that "I even take medication for it." That is just about the single most ignorant thing that you could ever possibly say to someone with anxiety.

Do not ever tell another human being that they are flawed or lesser than you just because they are different. Instead, be the rock that they can lean on. Be the whispers of encouragement they need to get through the hard times. Be everything you would want, had it been YOU in their position.

Have Faith
God has given me incredible parents and wonderful friends, a solid job and a sense of purpose. It is through my faith that I have found the strength to push down my anxiety. Having dealt with anxiety has made me empathetic, humble and stronger. It was a part of my journey to mold me into the type of person that God created me to be.

I don't know what you or your loved one's faith is. But part of my advice is to go to church and seek God. My faith is the solid rock upon which I stand, and it is the only reason I've gotten a hand up on my anxiety. To God be the glory.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.