The Death of Dating

Tonight 20/20 a special aired called "The New Sex," which covers a wide range of topics, including dating. 

As the forty-something-year-old host explored the uses of Tinder, I shook my head and mourned the death of dating among millenials. This special was hardly the first time that I came to the realization that traditional dating was dead, and I'm sure that it won't be the last.

Gone are the days when men would ask women out on an innocent date in order to get to know them, and discover if they were a life-long connection, expecting nothing in return.

Nowadays, in an instant-gratification society that has "an app for everything," people want to "hook up," not look for their potential mate.

It would almost seem as though the bulk of my generation is allergic to commitment & responsibility, sorely lacking an overall self worth. People are giving their bodies to one another after spending less than a day with each other, and having no reservations about it. What's wrong with this picture? 

Everything.

If men can get what they want with whoever they want, whenever they want, then why would they enter into a real relationship? Do these men even know what a real relationship looks like? I've come across men who are so absolutely delusional about the mechanics of a relationship that it's laughable. 

What happens when these men are 35 and they decide that they want to have real lives with a wife and kids? Even if you walk up to me and you're Mr. perfect, if you've had sex with 30 women, there's a 100% chance that I'll want nothing to do with you. 

Because unlike so many people our age, I value loyalty, patience, intelligence and a man who can start and maintain a real relationship. And there are plenty of women out there just like me. Women who don't want to be pressured to get physical, who don't want pictures of your ding dong, who, from the start, have been looking for that real relationship. And just because you woke up one day and decided that's what you want, doesn't mean you'll be able to get it if you've been out there galavanting around.

Quite frankly, it's disgusting. 

And it's clearly not working for society. People have forgotten not only the sanctity of what sex means, but they've skipped learning what respect towards the opposite sex is. There is a dating breakdown occurring all around us, and few people seem to mind…despite these facts:

In 2013, there were 26.6 births for every 1,000 adolescent females ages 15-19, or 274,641 babies born to females in this age group. Nearly 89% of these births occurred outside of marriage. Not all teen births are first births. In 2013, almost one in six (17%) births to 15-19 year olds were to females who already had one or more babies. (hhs.gov)

The average male loses his virginity at age 16. (nbc) A study done by the CDC concluded that the percent of men aged 15-44 who have had 15 or more female sexual partners is a staggering 21.6%. The rate for women in that same age group who have had 15 or more male sexual partners is 9%. (cdc)

Moving away from sex stats and toward marriage info…in 1950 the average age women married was 20 years old and for men, it was 24. In 2010 the average age for marriage was 27 for women and 29 for men. (census.gov)

Do you see the trend here? 

Why would people want to get married if they can get "what they want" for free? They wouldn't. But what these same people fail to realize is that with every sexual encounter they have, they are making their marital sexual encounter hold less and less importance/weight. It's not as new, it's not as exiting if you've been around the block with 30 different people already. 

I just can't handle the direction our society, our generation, is going in. I mourned the death of music with Niki Minaj's "Anaconda," I cringe as TV ads hyper-sexualize women, I scream inside when a guy passes a great girl up because she's not a 5'8 blonde-haired size two, like the media has glorified. I want to puke when I hear about thirteen year olds having sex. I want to slap these men who never want to grow up, who instead live in a tired loop of partying and promiscuity that is better suited for frat boys. 

But no one seems to mind that STD's are running rampant, that more people than ever are lonely, that children are having sex, that the median ages for marriage are rising, that the media continues to portray women as sexual objects, that apps and websites are what we turn to in order to date instead of real social interaction. No one seems to mind that traditional dating has taken it's last dying breaths. 

Except me. I mind. 

I mind because I'm searching for the love of my life, not the love of tonight. 

And what I've experienced, out there in the real world, has me wondering if I will ever find a decent Christian guy. 

If dating is dead, how will I meet him? Am I pretty enough for him, good enough for him? Will he know what a real relationship looks like? Or does he exist at all?