Designated Doodler

I wanted to write this for them Whoever it was That died on the sun-kissed highway Right outside my office In the morning, last Monday When coworkers stood at grand glass windows to see The crash, the reason why frustrated drivers wondered what was taking so long, what was going on Sitting in a glittering line of rumbling motionless cars that was hundreds of headaches long You could hear the roar of the air  being sliced by metal blades The familiar whine of multiple sirens Yelling above the rush hour parade And in the building Workers asked workers in hushed words as they arrived up the stairs "Did you see it? Have you heard?"

I sit and wait For my future to break For them to tell me that I've made a mistake And I wonder How much longer it will take For them to realize that I'm a creator Just a poser here Not an analyst, but An innovator and a catalyst And from analysis I've deduced that I don't belong Behind a desk So lonely and monotonous It drains my spark My youthfulness I'm the furthest thing from an analyst I'm a creative And if I don't create I might explode If I don't draw I might implode If I lack human interaction It's shut down mode Because there's too many words Built up in me It's too hard to store them up along With all of the ideas inside of me Trapped behind a mouth tight shut I don't know what to do Or where I belong So I wrote this for you Or because of you Or because at some point I was you And you are me Training to be where I am Working towards the point Of knowing that what you've worked for Isn't where you want to be How long do y...

I share too much, or so I've been told. I've been warned about internet creepers and creepers in general. But before my birthday, I like to look back at the past year and see what's been accomplished/what I'm grateful for. It's good to write this shit down now, before I forget it. 1) Landing two awesome jobs. One full time, one part time. My coworkers are awesome at my real job and at my less real job, I've learned that I've got what it takes to guide 50+ tipsy adults through a painting. 2) Getting published twice. Once in a poetry journal and once in "Review of My Cat," which you can buy HERE . 3) Having an online presence! My little baby blog surpassed 11,195 visitors this year! AND, a grand total of 48,475 have read my fanfiction, from last December to today.       My favorite drawing from this year: My favorite painting from this year: 4) Being in a TV commercial and working at a place where there is an abundance of...

It fizzes in the silence Manned by invisible pilots The bubbles zip to the top They merge and fizzle and pop The only sound in the room is my soda And it wants drunk As bad as I want the day to be over The sugar isn't working I just noticed it's caffeine free Someone slap me Keep me awake and working on this wording Aluminum and Aspertame I take a sip and hope It isn't eroding my brain Lending to the drain That started when I first sipped Phenylalanine I can't pronounce it but I can drink it I know what I feel but I can't think it The metal tab looks up at me Inanimate but expectantly No calories, caffeine free

It wasn't bad enough that I spilled some water this morning. No. I had to go and spill something much worse. Today I thought, why notbe halthy? So I brought this little can of tuna in to have for lunch. It comes in a can inside a little plastic dome that also contains mayo, crackers and a spoon. But what's weird is that the metal lid on the tuna can is recessed into the can a little (so the lid doesn't sit flush with the lip of the can). And there's this tab on it and a picture of someone pulling the tab to open the can. There is also CAN USE A CAN OPENER text all over the place. Well I'm at work - no can opener. So I pull and I pull and I pull some more - it WILL NOT OPEN - until it did. The lid yanked off and the tuna can went flying across the room and finally rolled to a stop. So I picked up shards of tuna off the floor and wiped down my desk chair mat and it still smells like tuna in here :/ And I share an office - so none of this humiliation was privat...

It is a scientifically proven fact that time slows during the afternoon work hours. The greatest anomaly occurring on Friday afternoons when subjects are inside at work. “There’s just something about Friday’s,” said Doctor Fulloshit. “It’s as if time slows to a crawl, yet the clocks on the wall are keeping normal time. We, at the Institute of Weary Adulthood, have been studying this phenomenon for centuries. And although it hasn’t changed much, the effects are felt much more with the younger generations.” Reputable news source Youngginz interviewed young adults and found that over 99% have at some time experienced, what they have labeled, epically-slow-bored-afternoon, or ESBA for short. And the intensified version of ESBA that occurs on Fridays is called Unbearably-Slow-Friday-Afternoon-Time-Warp, or USFATW. "There's just no getting around it," said Fred Jackson a 20-something graphic designer. "It happens every Friday and to lesser d...

It's like someone dropped a jar of red glitter. The sparkling tail lights of lines of cars shimmer off the still-wet pavement. And I close my eyes for a moment while I wait, and then I have to mentally convince myself to open them again. My music is the same and my day will be the same and my daydreams are the same. I've determined that I've run out of daydreams; things...people...events...to look forward to. The desires that fuel my stories have dissolved. And it elicits a sense of frustration; like when you've mixed a special color and have painted an area and have just one little bit left to paint but you're out. And you wonder if you can ever re-create that color. My car has a sheen of morning dew on it, and beneath the sticky wet there is a layer of greenish yellow pollen. This is what I focus on at the next red light. I look over at my passenger seat. I mentally chastise myself for spilling coffee in the car earlier in the week and wonder when I'll be ...

Awkward Moments of My Life: Me telling my co-worker that I hate the name of a certain blog...that she helped create the name for. That moment when I signed the check and handed it to the (gorgeous) waiter with whom much flirting happened. And he makes a very surprised face and I realize that I forgot the tip because I was too busy talking to him. When a co-worker comes in with a hideous piece of art to put in the office and notices that there is a single cupcake left. I explain it's for Jared who is sick today. Co-worker leaves. I realize Jared isn't coming back at all today; so I eat the cupcake. Then Co-worker returns to hang picture and comments on the lack of cupcake. And the lack of Jared. Nearly getting run over by a guy in our parking lot and staring at him incredulously as he drives off. Then bumping into him in the break room. He immediately recognizes me (I don't recognize him) and he apologizes for nearly killing me. The instance where you are sitting i...

A is for Advertising B is for Brochure C is for Copywriter D is for Designer E is for Email F is for Filing collateral G is for Graphic Designers H is for Html I is for Internet Marketing J is for Jack Daniels K is for Killer Idea! L is for Loneliness M is for Meetings N is for Notebooks full of crap O is for Office Relations P is for Pitching to the Client Q is for Quark R is for Releases, Press S is for Submitting ads T is for Turmoil U is for Uncooperative Adobe V is for Venting W is for Words, Words, and more Words...maybe even Microsoft Word X is for Xerox Y is for Y ME? Z is for ZZZZZZZ *This content is copyrighted and belongs to Elizabeth R. Rector. (So no stealing bitches!)

*Written for a romance prompt* ---------------------------------------------------- I'll make you forget you have friends Heart pounding, eyes tracing You'll swear it's the end Of everything you thought you knew Life before this wasn't as true And you can pry as hard as you want But there'll never be a me without a you Hands a flesh knot Fingers tied Nerves on fire Beneath eyes so tired The clock on the wall is broke The words are a wad in your throat But now's not the time to choke I can't feel my toes, they're cold And the warmth of this embrace Is not enough to hold back the light; the dawn That whispers in four ears The melody of a swan-song No regret No feelings No fear That was it Nothing happened No one was here ... The flourescent lights are blinding The air is heavy and hot and binding It clings to my lips and sticks to the green walls That reach to the ceiling and line the halls This skirt is too tight and ...

As I sit here sipping my Pike's blend and eating baby Kit-Kat's I'm wondering where I went wrong in life. No, just kidding. But seriously, who buys baby candy? If you go to get a Kit-Kat wouldn't  you rather it be full sized? And why do they call that tiny candy "Fun Sized" as if getting less chocolate is somehow a deal. But I digress. You know, it's amazing how much faster time goes by when you have something solid to do. That's exactly why I wrote blogs and drew cartoons in many of my college classes. A word to the wise though, make sure said prof's aren't following you on Twitter where you mention your blog update. College truly ruins everything. High school is a hellish nightmare that entraps you for eight hours a day and then you go to college and you're all like..."oh, I can go home and nap now!" "I have freedom, and an active social life and spare time and a newfound appreciation for Ultimate Frisbee." And s...