Designated Doodler

You shake when you yawn And run a slippery tongue along the inside of your top lip where little freckles bump out You never knew it wasn't normal to feel every heartbeat shake in your chest to ring off your ribs and know your pulse just by counting You feel life through and through It freaks you out, but so does death It makes you nervous just to exist Wondrously fallible, You house a host of contradictions Intelligently distracted A beautiful mess Terrifyingly brave Each new day is nothing but a new test And all you want today is to do better than yesterday's best You're lost in lofty aspirations, Bound by your own human-ness Perfectly whole yet forever incomplete You wish to feel less, To be entirely fearless, But then no one would see you as I do And in the greatest of tragedies You'd cease to be you

Growing up with a Dad who has cancer, I think I've always been hyper aware of how precious life is. And it concerns me, how in this day and age, it seems like everyone is just out for themselves. Or just out for themselves and their family…when there are people all around us who are struggling, who are hungry, who are lonely. Having experienced anxiety in my life, I try my best to tune in to those around me, even if I barely know them. You'd be surprised how many people are out there…just longing for a friend, just longing for a shoulder, for a truthful, reliable, beautiful soul to care about theirs. At one point in college I was so lonely that I'd get out of the apartment and hang out at Starbucks, just so that I could be around other people. I had plenty of friends, but that doesn't mean that you can't still be lonely. I have no idea where this post is coming from. I didn't necessarily set out to write what I've written… I just feel that it&#

It is with a heavy heart that I write this. Today I learned that my friend Clay passed away. I felt like I should do something in memory of him, hence this blog post. I'm not even sure when I met Clay, he was always around. We had classes together at TCU and we lived in the same building. He was one of those people that you don't even have to try to make friends with, it was like we were friends as soon as we met. His smile was so contagious, he absolutely exuded happiness. He knew everyone, and everyone knew him. Shoot…I can't remember someone's name five minutes after they introduce themselves…but Clay could. He was intelligent and sweet, truly caring. The kind of person that would give you the shirt off his back if you asked. He was also an incredibly talented dancer. It takes a lot of stamina and a lot of guts to go through the School of Classic and Contemporary Dance at TCU. Heck…I would probably take one look at those skin tight leggings and bolt. Bu

Okay so all over the internet - and in real life - people are freaking out! Whether it's about finals or Christmas or a mysterious flu-like disease that's killing people in North Houston... the freaking out doesn't need to happen. If you are currently freaked out, or feel as though you will be in the near future, read this quick guide: 1) Odds are that you're thinking too much. Take a minute to shift your focus. Watch an episode on TV, have a mug of Sleepy Time tea, doodle a dragon in your notebook. The more you focus on your freaking out - the worse it's only going to get - so focus on something else. 2) If you can fix what you're freaking out about, do it! If you're worried that you're ill-prepared for a final, go study some more! If you're freaked out about a party you're hosting, plan it out! Maybe the better prepared you are, the less you'll flip your lid. 3) If you're having an existential crisis, please dial 9 now. Just kiddi

Twenty four be good Be gentle, take care Tread lightly upon body and mind Leave me whole. Twenty four be good Help me find purpose and way And make every tomorrow better still Than every yesterday.

I saw you once. At Starbucks. You were staring down at your phone, held tightly in your hand, as you waited for your coffee. And I all dressed in black, observed you behind sunglasses and mentally laughed at the situation. At the ease with which I could walk right up to you if I so desired. It would be fun to see your face. I imagined a dozen ways that you'd react, two dozen things you might say, three dozen ways you'd end the curt exchange in an attempt to get away. Or maybe you wouldn't run. Maybe you'd stay. I wonder what I myself might say. "Hi, nice to see you, it's been a while." I certainly wouldn't say that I've missed you. I'd probably remark on your appearance and make light of the situation. It would be fascinating to hear what you'd say about mine. Hair straight, an Estee Lauder face, the nicest purse I've ever owned, a sleek black trench coat that feels like silk to the touch, a chenille scarf loyally wrappe

Blinding oranges and reds The flames lick up all the gasoline with their vaporous tongues off the jet black asphalt Move an arm and hear a sound like a grinding screech of a metal monster chewing diamonds down Liquid life drips from a hundred cuts And gathers in a meeting on the ground The motorcycle lies doubled over A slumbering silver beast, never to awake It pulled me towards the earth with it Trying to slip death on me, but it didn't take

I share too much, or so I've been told. I've been warned about internet creepers and creepers in general. But before my birthday, I like to look back at the past year and see what's been accomplished/what I'm grateful for. It's good to write this shit down now, before I forget it. 1) Landing two awesome jobs. One full time, one part time. My coworkers are awesome at my real job and at my less real job, I've learned that I've got what it takes to guide 50+ tipsy adults through a painting. 2) Getting published twice. Once in a poetry journal and once in "Review of My Cat," which you can buy HERE . 3) Having an online presence! My little baby blog surpassed 11,195 visitors this year! AND, a grand total of 48,475 have read my fanfiction, from last December to today.       My favorite drawing from this year: My favorite painting from this year: 4) Being in a TV commercial and working at a place where there is an abundance of

Strings of streetlights glow around the night's neck Crate-myrtles reach their wooden fingers to the sky And I glide along in the dark, a toy car in a plastic play set Pulled back and let go on a grooved track The apartment's dark, and I leave it that way Walking past light-switches with their heads bowed It's amazing how quiet can sound so loud The night, the silence, it all presses down On this makeshift home, in this lego town November stretches it's cold black fingers Digits fanning apart, threatening to reach out To pull me in, and never push me back

I was a die hard Apple fan. I still have a mac and an iPad, and I was hesitant to switch phones. But the new iOS 7 murdered my phone. I had no memory left, I had to delete a bunch of crap to download the upgrade, and then once I got the upgrade, it sucked the life out of my already crappy battery. My iPhone was under 2 years old and it was struggling just to get through the day. I wouldn't even touch it during the day, save to make a phone call at lunch, and it would be down 20% or more after lunch. I was charging it four times a day and constantly closing every running background task. It was a hot mess. So I got fed up and went to my phone provider, who handed me a Note III and told me that it has the best battery life of any phone out there. The battery itself is nearly as big as the iPhone - and I love it. It's functionality and capabilities are unmatched, and all of it is supported on a battery that won't poop out on you after checking Facebook once. One of

I remember playing dodgeball when I was in elementary school. The gym seemed huge and the bright overhead lights flooded the light wood, polished floor that squeaked when I pressed the toe of my shoe on it and slid it across. There were lines on the floor and I didn't know why. I remember how often I was frustrated by my peers. Sometimes they'd say things that were nonsense, or they wouldn't listen to the teacher, or even each other. Looking back on it, I realize now that organizing a group of six year olds into cooperating, must be like herding cats. We fluttered around the gym, ready to play the game that was just described to us at length. Throw the ball to the other side of the line and try to hit someone, then they're out of the game. But if they catch it, you're out. As we grew up, I think it got more complicated…something about freezing people…but those rules were yet to come. This was dodgeball, straight up. It was all our little brains could process

Okay, so about a month ago, I purchased the Samsung Note III (which I will review later) and more recently, I decided to get the Galaxy Gear Smart Watch that goes with my phone. I've read plenty of reviews and the majority of them seem to be negative, which is nuts! People want better app capability and for it to like...wipe their butts or something...but it's a watch! And it does what it's supposed to do perfectly. Let me tell you people... smart watches are here to stay, and this one isn't remotely as bad as many reviews claim it to be. Functionality On a scale of 1 (very poor) to 10  (freaking awesome), I'd give the functionality of this watch a 9. It does exactly what it needs to do! You can send texts using S Voice, you can make calls (it stores all of your contacts), you can take pictures/video, you can see the weather, you can use the pedometer, and you can receive notifications. And it's uber cool how the watch comes out of sleep mode when you

Metal hills Gold valleys A ragged row Of cut teeth mountains That catch on the ridges of my fingertip And bump along the grooves of skin That make up my finger print I look without seeing To make sure it's the right one Holding it up to the light coming from The neighbor's red hot tail lights Exposing the curve The glimmering shine That reflects in the dark black morning like blood red wine Metal on metal It stumbles through the tumblers And a snap of the wrist Clacks the lock shut Putting aside my desire to stay It's not really a choice, I have to walk away When I actually want to walk back in Down the slippery sprinkler-wet sidewalk Wishing it was the hour That I could walk back up it again

I was really surprised to learn today that one of my coworkers things that "people are making too big a deal out of texting and driving." Everyday I'm out there on Houston roads, and let me tell you, they suck at driving! Throw a phone into the mix and FORGET ABOUT IT. I am constantly hearing about accidents and vehicle deaths. And texting while driving is not something I take lightly. My coworker was like..."well some people are better at it." To which I responded..."yeah, you think you're good at it, until you're not, and you find yourself on the side of the road with a totaled car." It really scares me to think that there are naive people out there that think this isn't a big deal. It's not just a big deal, it's an epidemic! Believe it or not, humans are not good multitaskers...go Google it! And when you're driving a 4,000 lb. weapon, you sure as hell better not try to be multitasking. Taking your eyes off