Designated Doodler

All of this is so ridiculously accurate. I love it and I feel obligated to share: http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-people-with-curly-hair-will-understand You're welcome.

Your heart whispers things in an unknown language It murmurs and beats And keeps you here with me I want to make sure you stay Even after they take the murmur away We are inseparable You are a part of me And nothing can change that Not even surgery 

I speed through the night Under the slice of streetlights Dark light, dark light, Until I reach a patch A hole that's pitch black A row of lights are off The cavernous gap it creates Eats the light around it Digesting the ease of passers by Eerily ominous It stares without eyes It sees my headlights But doesn't absorb the light It's a reminder that the night Is only lit because we make it From the live wires that transmit And the light bulbs that we keep lit And without what we've placed in it The night is a dark pit That swallows up the silence and all who wade in it   Photo from revdavidneuen.blogspot.com  

Introducing “Eternity” a new fragrance for men (not associated with Calvin Klein). This alluring mist is the #1 scent given to newly married men. The aroma is heavy, clinging and lasts forever. Hence the fact that sales are steadily declining. If you listen closely as you spray yourself with “Eternity” you can almost hear your wife’s nagging voice. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in and picture you and your spouse at 90 years old. By that time, the beautiful aroma will linger in your wrinkles and amplify your natural scent of despair. You will definitely get noticed while wearing “Eternity” but pay no mind to those beautiful women giving you “the look,” because you’re already taken…for “Eternity.” Do not imagine what your life could have been as a free bachelor who doesn’t have three snotty kids clinging to your pant cuff dusted with paper shreds from your mind-numbing job that you need to support these four leeches. Instead, calm yourself an

It fizzes in the silence Manned by invisible pilots The bubbles zip to the top They merge and fizzle and pop The only sound in the room is my soda And it wants drunk As bad as I want the day to be over The sugar isn't working I just noticed it's caffeine free Someone slap me Keep me awake and working on this wording Aluminum and Aspertame I take a sip and hope It isn't eroding my brain Lending to the drain That started when I first sipped Phenylalanine I can't pronounce it but I can drink it I know what I feel but I can't think it The metal tab looks up at me Inanimate but expectantly No calories, caffeine free

Clouds float over the masses And I wonder, if I were to take a bite of the sky How would the clouds taste? Heavy, sticky, sweet like molasses Or salty & bitter from their tears yet to cry Cumulus, Cirrus, Nimbus, Stratus How would each taste? Would they cling to my tongue like cotton candy And melt away when they hit spit Or remain solid and steady but Twist and Conform with each lick Leaving a road where my tongue once was The lightening bolts as chewed clouds meet tickling my tongue in a frenzied buzz Leaving behind an electric heat What would it be like? To be above what's Above it all To lick the rain drops Before they fall.