Elderly



Today I walked through a familiar door into a familiar place, past faces, some of which hinted at recognition, and others that didn't.

I stopped by an elderly home to deliver cards to the residents I usually play bingo with. The problem is, I'm a faces person, not particularly adept with names. So I stopped by my friend Cheryl's room for some help with names.

And as I walked down sterile white halls, smelling the generic smells from the cafeteria, passing nurses and people in wheelchairs, some missing limbs, others missing sight or understanding, I felt like what I was doing wasn't enough.

Cheryl helped me out with the names and I stayed and visited with her. I've played bingo there for a few years and she, and the other residents, have changed considerably in that time. She is older, more fragile, her arms darkened with bruises, the table next to her bed littered with a vast array of items. The cellphone next to her and the TV on the wall clamor with noise, appearing to be escapes, like glimpses of an outside world that so many of these residents can't reach, but it's an illusion.

She confided in me why Christmas is a dark time for her and every fiber in my body wanted to scoop her up and get her the hell out of there. I don't want this Christmas to be difficult for her and it breaks my heart that it is the case for her and for so many other elderly during the holidays.

Her kid cares more about being with his kids and grandkids than being with her. Her apartment is on the third floor, sans elevator, and there's no way she could make it up steps, so she will not be a part of any holiday festivities.

It's amazing how a person can work their entire life, give everything they've got for their child, and then they both grow older, and suddenly that child has children and grandchildren and they just...put you somewhere dank...to wither away while they live their life.

Spend one morning...one day at an elderly care facility and I dare you to multiply that experience by weeks, months and years. You would want to be visited, you would want to be loved, you would want to be rescued and reacquainted with the real world if only for an hour. To taste food that wasn't served on a plastic tray under a plastic dome. To smell the fresh spring air and feel the soft touch of sunshine on your face. To be reminded that all that you've done has not been forgotten and that you are a valued member of a family...of a community.

So if you have an elderly person in your life...please remember them. Please put yourself in their shoes and ask if there is anything you can do to improve their quality of life. Because they are the reason you are here.

And if you don't have any elderly in your life...go adopt some. Visit a retirement home, bake them cookies, write them cards, sing them Christmas carols and play bingo with them. Love them so fiercely that it reminds them that time isn't capable of destroying everything. Faith and hope and love remain and if those things live in you, then they can live in them too.

Go hug your old person.


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